The Magic of Dating Yourself

In “The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity,” Julia Cameron encourages us to take ourselves on a weekly date. I first took her course about eight years ago and have continued to enjoy it annually. It suggests you commit to writing three long-hand pages every day, followed by taking yourself on a weekly date - alone. The writing is cathartic, but I find the weekly dates to be more so. I have connected with various interests including photography, writing, cooking, visiting museums, going on adventures and hiking, just to name a few. The opportunities are endless and I’ve grown to explore things I never would have in the past. 

I talk with plenty of people, primarily women, who share that they wish they could do things alone but feel “afraid.” I get it. It can feel intimidating and scary. My suggestion is to start with something simple. You don’t have to spend a lot of money or time to date yourself. If you love flowers, grow them. Take a book to a coffee shop and sit in a corner and read for an hour, sipping on your favorite beverage. Go on a hike near your house. Enjoy nature, it’s everywhere. Take a walk on the beach. Go to the library, a museum or art gallery. Make some popcorn, curl up and watch a movie. Take a drive down a long and winding road, not knowing where it leads. Take a cooking class, or any other that sparks your interest. Color outside the lines!

Just a few months after Jon’s death I signed up for a writing workshop. I was so intimidated and apprehensive. But I learned that everyone else in the group pretty much felt the same way. The class became a safe refuge for me to share my innermost thoughts and feelings. And I made a few new friends along the way. The writing workshops eventually led to writing this book - something I’ve longed to do most of my adult life, but was never able to muster up the courage - until now. 

Most heartache is a result of a major life change, leaving us feeling we don't know which way to turn. Exploring our innermost desires and our creativity is helpful towards creating a new path towards our new life. Whatever interests you have, devote some time towards them. Make a commitment to explore new ones, or reignite something that brings a spark. Now is the time to explore what truly makes your heart sing. It doesn’t have to be a perfect match. Just think of it as an adventure. You can start small as you feed your soul with thoughtful care. 

Fall in love with yourself and your life - one magical date at a time.