Surrender Your Weapons
It was just this past month, 24 months following Jon’s death, that I was able to to sit and read the hundreds of cards and letters I received upon his death. They sat in a box on my desk, in plain view, just waiting for me to be in the mental and emotional place to receive them in a gracious, loving and reverent manner. I lit a candle and read every single one. Smiles came and tears flowed. I was so thankful I had waited for the right time to be present to fully receive the beautiful messages they contained. I was filled with compassion, reverence and joy. And certainly the heaviness of reality. I was reminded two things can be true at the same time.
Grief is an active process. It is the depth of your love and your strength is in allowing it. Healing is hard work. Heart work is hard work. There will be questions that can’t be answered, beliefs that will be challenged, days that will be cloaked in darkness, others that will be illuminated by hope and certainly by grace. It’s all part of the journey. With love and compassion for ourselves, the honoring of the aches of our hearts, and a commitment to continue to seek our deepest desires, we can take baby steps to awaken the healing process. We can begin to create authentic, joyful and fulfilling lives while also honoring our loved ones and life’s challenging experiences as we begin to live forward.
I’d like to share the following poem with you. Written by my dear friend and writing coach, Valley Haggard, it hangs above my writing desk as a reminder to be gentle with myself and to hold tightly to the deepest desires of my heart.
I believe it offers a gentle way forward. It’s shared with lots of love, compassion, hope and grace for your healing heart. It’s appropriately titled, “Surrender Your Weapons.”
“May you bring forth what is within you
May you walk through the fire of your stories
May you swim through the ocean of your words
May you dive bravely into the water of your memories
May you build the house of your body
May you write the story of your life
May you tell the stories that gut you, heal you
May you surrender to the process
May you trust what comes
May you go deeper into your life, into the truth,
than you’ve ever gone before
May you surface from the wreckage with rubies and stories and emeralds and gold
May you let sand and salt scrub you clean
May you follow your own thread to the end
May you be your own heroine, hero, warrior and muse
May you surrender your weapons
May you trust what comes.”
My friend, the world needs your healed heart, with all its jagged and sharpened edges beautifully and lovingly pieced together. You are on the path to a life well lived, full of wonder, desire, bravery and courage, all the while honoring the hurts you will now gently carry with grace. You can do this, one sacred step at a time.
Above all else, please be gentle with yourself along the way.
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