Home Is Where The Heart Is!

When you are rebuilding your life, regardless of the reason, it’s important to create a sanctuary of respite for yourself. As Maya Angelou wrote, “The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” Of course, it’s important on a spiritual level that we find a metaphorical home in our hearts, minds, and spirits, where peace beyond understanding resides. But our physical home, our personal space, is equally important.

While you may not have the resources to move or redecorate, you can create a loving, peaceful, harmonious and safe space for yourself. My home has become my sanctuary. It’s a clear and direct reflection of my personality and what my soul needs to feel comforted, warm and secure. It’s an eclectic and perfect combination of mismatches I’ve created over many years. I affectionately refer to it as my “flea market house.” When Jon died, I had to make the heart-wrenching decision to move out of the home that we had built side by 26 side over four years prior to his death. It was our home, but it wasn’t my house. In an instant, it belonged to others. I was fortunate to be able to move back to the house I owned prior to meeting Jon, but it no longer felt like home. It did, however, serve as a clean slate for me to transform it into a sanctuary where I could be comforted in my grief. It also served as a reminder that I could start over and be okay. It is now a mirrored reflection of my personal taste and has become my lighthouse, no matter what storm I may be facing.

During my transition, I became acutely aware that I like to collect things. It was a challenging awareness, given everything I touch becomes sentimental or something “I may need later.” When I realized just how much space and time healing requires, it became very clear to me that “stuff ” takes up its own time and energy, and I became determined to do something about it. I embraced the overwhelm of it all one drawer or closet at a time. Then I moved to the bigger spaces – like the garage, a storage unit I didn’t need and an office I didn’t 27 use. Literally emptying one drawer at a time provided space and a deep breath that I didn’t realize the clutter was stealing. I added fresh flowers weekly. I stacked books on my coffee table, whether I read them or not. Seeing them there brought me comfort. I placed throw blankets on every bed and chair, making it cozy and comfortable for when I needed to curl up in a fetal position and have my down and dirty ugly cry.

While I’ve always had a roof over my head, and for that, I’m grateful, there have been times in my life when I felt homeless. I’m talking about homelessness of the heart. Grief does that. Change does that. Turmoil does that. We are left to feel homeless in our hearts when our lives are in shambles, turned upside down, inside out. It’s innate within us to want to feel protected, safe, secure and peaceful. When that is interrupted, we can be left with a sense of unease and emptiness.

Our homes can offer refuge as we navigate the maze of healing our hearts. If you don’t have a feeling of comfort where you are planted right now, I want to encourage you to make small changes that will eventually lead to your heart feeling more at home. Over time, you will have created a cherished and safe sanctuary for yourself, one that will serve as a welcoming space to honor your heart’s desires.

Over time, you will have created a cherished and safe sanctuary for yourself, one that will serve as a welcoming space to honor your heart’s desires