Take A Leap. You Just Might Land on Higher Ground!

I dragged my feet for months prior to the submission deadline, not able to turn a deaf ear to the negative thoughts that crossed my ticker-tape consciousness in record speed. "The timing is not right." "They will never pick you." "It's a total waste of time." "You are not a writer." "Who do you think you are?" Like a broken record, I replayed my mother's deeply entrenched messages imposed deep within. "You will never amount to anything." "You are not worthy." I tried to come up with every excuse possible not to complete the submission. Yet, something continued to pull at my heart strings - a knowing it was something I wanted to do for myself. One message became stronger than the rest. "You can do this!" "You matter." "You Matter!" Finally, the self-imposed negative messages faded away, and the fact that I matter overruled. I hit "send."

I sat in disbelief that I had actually done it. I raised both arms into the air and shouted to the Universe, "I did it. Use it as You will!" Great relief came, as did a feeling of complete and total peace, numbing the sensation of nausea. A sense of accomplishment, along with gratitude for having grown into this place of courage, replaced intense doubt and unruly fear. I was no longer riddled with painful self condemnation. The contest no longer mattered. I had won something far greater.

I believe most of us can get stuck in the muck of paralyzing self doubt and fear. It's simply part of the human condition. For those of us who were not blessed with positive affirmations from childhood to overrule the normal self-sabotaging messages, it can be extremely painful and crippling when faced with doing that which calls us. I don't have a simple prescription for moving past fear or self doubt. It's not always as easy as the popular clichés suggest, such as, "feel the fear and do it anyway." I think it's a matter of knowing yourself so deeply and well that the opinions, beliefs or judgments of others can't shake your gnawing truth. And neither can fear. It's not easy to dismiss or ignore the negative messages that infiltrate our minds on a daily basis, but we can overcome them with acts of self love. Simple, unadulterated self love. It can be an act of kindness towards ourselves, a deep tissue massage, an overdue hike in the woods, or a fear-filled "hit send." If we choose just one positive message and act upon it, we will be empowered to chose that which makes us grow - again...and again...until we are bravely taking leaps of courage, rewarded in landing on higher ground.

I took a leap today and landed on higher ground. I highly recommend it.